Marmalade Daydreams

Amidst my commitments to my twin mistresses of Academia and Recreation, I've been miserably inattentive to this forum for my musings, stories, and photos. Apologies. Sad to say, a rival for the latent narcissism that I once semi-regularly funneled into a blog has been that breed of petty demon known as the "social-networking website." But thankfully, Facebook hasn't taken up enough of my time to substantially damage my relations with my two current loves: the spring semester ended strong, with too many nights spent beneath my towers of books accruing too-few hours of sleep on the office couch, dreaming of term papers. The ethanol-fueled engine of this writing machine, went into overdrive, and the controlled blaze of productivity soon grew into exuberant flames of celebration.

After finals, my sister came out for ten days and we both took a much-needed Hawaiian vacation. Having just returned from a business trip to Germany (you won't read about it in the Times for a few more years, but Lizzie's been quietly taking over New York's art world), she continued her westward course to Oahu, where I eased her transition to the Pacific with 3 "K"s: sake, poke, and karaoke. It was a night for the books, replete with feasting, drunken mayhem, and a heartwarming brother-sister duet of "Mama Look A Boo Boo." Much to my relief, Lizzie and my friends got along famously, and I'm still questioned as to when she's relocating to Honolulu. After some beach time, a bit of reggae festival, and more ono grinds ("yummy eats"), we went to Kauai for four days where, in spite of the vog, we hiked in Waimea Canyon, snorkeled on the north shore, and camped on the Na Pali coast -- it might have been physically impossible to have been more active or had a better time. We came back to "town" for a few days, bid farewell to my roommate Scott with a BBQ bash (when I accidentally bashed in my front screen door), and toured some of Honolulu's finer cultural attractions, including the amazing Bhutan exhibition at the Academy of Arts (coming to NY and SF soon!) and Liliha Bakery. Mmm... bakery...

Lizzie's last night here we camped at Waimanalo Beach, probably the most beautiful place I know, for a Memorial Day blowout. Since then, I've returned there every weekend (tonight will be the fifth consecutive Saturday) because, really, why wouldn't I want to spend as much time there as possible? Mountains surround the miles of soft white sands which, descending into shallow waters, makes the sea an unearthly vivid turquoise. Islands frame the seaside view and provide interesting foreground for moonrise (haven't been awake for sunrise yet). There's an intense shore break, but the waves don't get that big, so there's lots of quality playtime to be had, and the forest is full of deadwood for fires. It's all pretty ideal at our summer home, really.

During the week, all is well. I love my summer intensive Japanese class and, though to wake so early has been a little taxing, I'm also having fun taking an intro to Aikido. In a couple of weeks even these minimal time commitments will end, and I'll have some time to get thesis research done before I start a gig teaching English to students from Japan.


Well, I must be packing up for another summer home excursion. I must say that, as much as I miss New York and my peoples, there are some fantastic things about my new home (one year next month!). Our tree is fruiting again, the trade winds keep my house cool, and Waimanalo is a short drive away.

Happy solstice, wherever you are, and I hope the summer is treating you right!

Why does everything seem to happen at once? -- someone should study that.

I realized yesterday that school is so attractive to me because it satisfies my immense curiosity. Answering questions is made somewhat easier with unlimited access to a university library, plus the fact that it's my job. Last week I'd been putting in overtime on a term paper -- spending nights at the office, writing for a solid six hours a day. I was hoping to finish it up by early this week, as I've got two other papers on top of two presentations and two Japanese finals but, after presenting my draft to the department on Friday, I've realized I'm going to have to discard the vast majority of the work I did this week. I guess it's something I'm going to need to get used to if I'm going to write a thesis.

The radio show has been going great -- the new slot, Friday mornings 6-9, has been much more conducive to receiving love from the listening audience, which helps break the stream of mental self-critique. Right after a particularly embarrassing gaffe that I was sure had alienated my listeners, a local guy called up to tell me that he loved the show -- the music, the voice, the mix. I asked, "But what about all the mistakes I've been making?" His reply? "No need worry, brother." And maybe he's right -- sometimes my critical nature overtakes my stoicism and I forget the wisdom of L. Cohen: "There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." No need worry.

I needed to remember that lesson Friday night when, between sets at on on-campus Earth Day fest, I had my first gig DJ'ing before a crowd of dancing peoples. It was tremendous fun but I got unduly perturbed when one of my sets was taken away. It was a textbook example of suffering caused by attachment, by defining one's identity in relation to an impermanent phenomenon. Undoubtedly part of my foul mood was sublimated frustration from the realization from my paper presentation that I misdirected my energies this past week, but not until my long walk home in the early hours of the A.M. did I let go of my anger of losing "my set". If you love it, set it free, no?

In celebration of letting go, I've been taking a break from the paper in observation of Pesach, the festival of liberation, and last night had what was certainly one of the most enjoyable seders of my twenty-eight years. I may miss my immediate family, but there's something to be said for a lack of embarrassing or awkward moments with extended relatives. We didn't have a Haggadah, but we had a couple of Jews and a couple of people who'd never been to a seder, so we actually had to explain each component of the ritual meal, and as there were only two of us who knew the blessings, we were able to cruise through the service and get to the food, which was phenomenal. So, there was no brisket or tzimmis, but between rack of lamb, salmon, phyllo-wrapped parmesan asparagus, and two delicious salads (one with feta, the other green papaya), we did pretty good.

I'm not quite ready to go back to work. Looking at the calendar and realizing how much needs to be done in the next two-and-a-half weeks is daunting. For today, I'm heading to Waikiki for a little Hawaiian vacation. Monday to Friday will be rough, but I need a little more furlough before heading back to the lines. Happy holiday, all y'all! Next year in Jerusalem...

I'm ostensibly working on a freelance research project right now (to create a chapter on Hinduism for a social studies textbook), but I need a momentary break, so I just wanted to wish everybody a happy Purim. Unfortunately, as I'm hard at work, I'm unable to imbibe enough alcohol to follow the wisdom of the sages (to get so drunk that one can't distinguish the story's hero and villain so that one cheers and boos at all the wrong times), but the bourbon and water that I've been sipping on for the last few hours has definitely ameliorated the near-crisis situation that was my gastrointestinal system earlier this evening.

Partly on a dare, partly out of curiosity, around noon I took on a mighty task -- BC Burrito's "Gutbuster". No mere lunch item, the Gutbuster is approximately 180 cubic inches (I'd estimate 14 inches long with a 2 inch radius) of tasty filling wrapped in two overlapping 12" tortillas. All went well until I got to the rice-filled stub, which I had to finish to save face (and to get everyone else to chip in on the $14 monster). Let's just say that it was a little difficult to focus during the 2 1/2 hour seminar on Japanese Religions. I pretty much came straight home and took a 3-hour nap, but I woke up feeling a bit distended (as you might imagine). I was afraid to take an antacid (I'd rather break the food down than neutralize my digestive juices), and I feel I made the right call with some diluted Jim Beam. Who needs Tums when you've got corn liquor?

I'm going to take a walk to Safeway to grab a pineapple for an egg-dying Good Friday brunch I'm attending (I think it's safe to assume I'll be the only one dressed as Mordechai) ... once it stops raining. Until then, I guess it's time to get back to work. Glad it's spring break -- without classes, I hope to have time to get all of that stuff done that I usually put off (like this freelance project) before I fly halfway across the ocean to celebrate my grandpa's 80th with the family skiing at Alta. Tropical paradise to alpine paradise -- pretty sweet.

By the way, my radio show now streams online here Mondays 9 AM to noon, EST. Yes, that's the middle of the night here in Hawaii. I'm working on getting a less masochistic timeslot, okay? Jeez. I'm thinking of it as hazing. Anyway, tune in for the funky sounds of The Science of Soul...

It's been kind of busy since I've been back. Three seminars plus Japanese language plus the intro class that I T.A. would be a lot of work, but it wouldn't quite pay the bills. Working a few hours a week at an after-school program for middle school kids helps, as does some freelance editing and doing the yard work for the property where I live. It's all pretty enjoyable, and I find that sometimes I work more efficiently when I have less free time... Of course, I did forget to study for a couple of kanjiquizzes this week, but I'm still doing very well in my program.

The only new time commitment that I made this semester is I began spinning as a DJ on the college radio station. It's all very exciting because, aside from missing my show at Hamilton College, KTUH is a really good station with a pretty big listenership all over the island. For another six weeks or so, my show 'The Science of Soul' is on in the middle of the night (Wednesday morning, 3 6 AM), but that's a morning show for all of you East Coasters... The station's website isn't currently running its streaming audio, but I'll let you know once my show is going out over the Intranets.

Over the holiday weekend (Thank you George Washington Lincoln!), I've been dogsitting my friends' adorable mutt, Bean. If I had my camera, you could see her as she is right now, curled up asleep on the couch, tail in mouth. Absolutely adorable. As it is, here's a (possibly) cuter picture of her I found of her in a similar position. Awwww...

Hawaii's still beautiful. It's unacceptable how long it's been since I spent a day at the beach. Tomorrow I'm taking Bean hiking -- hopefully I'll be coming home with avocados and guavas! On a somewhat related note, does anyone know how to properly prune fruit trees? Please advise.

I wanted to get a lot done this weekend, but I've mostly been going out for long walks with Bean. That's productive, I guess -- for mental health, if nothing else. Went to a bit of an academic conference that was being held at the East-West Center yesterday where my friend was lecturing on a photographer in the New York art scene and met a cool anthropologist from University of London's School of Oriental and African Studies who did his M.A. in Japanese religion with one of the top guys in the field. That was pretty cool. I don't have a lot of food left over here (the lasagna they left me was incredibly delicious, but it's gone), so I need to go down to pick something up. When I get back, if I still have steam, I'll write some more stories. If not, I promise more soon.

It was a wonderful couple of weeks of winter, and I felt blessed with snowfalls over Christmas and New Year's, but I'm glad to be back on Oahu where "chilly weather" means that you might goosebumps if you're in a T-shirt & shorts. Yesterday I went up to the North Shore with some friends to see one of the epic winter swells firsthand, and we were each moved to silence by the enormity of it all. We sat speechless in Waimea Bay watching this rare break create sets with thirty-foot faces dwarfing surfers until they appeared as insects, disappearing behind the set's second wave before dropping into these steep marine valleys of deepest blue, chased by the collapsing curl. We ate our lunch by Sharks Cove as crystal foam-capped mountains of surf impacted with the rock wall and shot skyward in a wall of geysers spraying fifty feet high before, seized by gravity, it fell crashing into its source like the cyclic construction and demolition of entire city blocks. Finally, we gawked at the Pipeline, arguably the world's most famous break and one of its deadliest, where a few hardy souls surfed within its enormous tubes, disappearing for a few dramatic sections before shooting out the barrel to the cheers of the sizable crowd. We ate freshly-cut pineapple on the scenic way home back, past the mysterious mountains valleys that serve as the settings for King Kong and "Lost", up above beautiful Kaneohe Bay, and through the tunnel blasted through the heart of the Ko'olau Range back to "town" -- the place I am lucky enough to call home for the next eighteen months.

Stories of my North American trip abound (just read a letter to the editor yesterday asking them to stop using the term "mainland" as it, by opposition, denigrates Hawai'i as "peripheral") and hopefully before the new semester begins on Monday I'll have an opportunity to write up a few of the more amusing and picturesque tales. Until then...

At some point during my involuntary sequestration (i.e. writing final papers and grading final exams, which happily ended at 5 A.M. Saturday), much of Honolulu has caught Kalikimaka fever. No, Mom, no need to worry; though this is a tropical disease of sorts, it's no cause for alarm. As I'm sure you've figured out by the surrounding images, Mele Kalikimaka is the traditional Hawaiian Christmas greeting (hooray for invented traditions). On an exploratory foray down to the Ala Moana mall (former the world's largest) that ended in being adrift in a sea of teenage girls (more frightening than it sounds), I came across this giant barefoot Santa throwing the shaka (known on the mainland as the "hang loose" sign), and I knew I had to come back with my camera before hitting the road. Roadsideamerica.com had to hear of this one!


It wasn't until returning to this bizarre land of giant tropically themed Christmas decorations (interspersed with a nativity scene composed of strings of lights and the somewhat bizarre Jesus Bless America display pictured on the right) that I was told (by a guy working security) that inside the major building behind shaka Santa, there were more lights. Despite my recent discovery that I can upload videos to this blog, I do not feel the video of the interior of this building would be a suitable subject to portray here, dear readers. City Hall is filled with Christmas trees (and a rotating palm tree made from blue lights) sponsored by local government departments, local businesses, and mainland corporations. Christmas music blares. Groups of people, from multi-generational families to thug types with their skanky girlfriends, stumble through this simulated winter wonderland, photographing each other posing in the simulacrum of an illuminated pine forest in a government building in downtown Honolulu. A church group attempted to get me to attend Sunday services at their place of worship. Needless to say, the place bugged me out a bit.

[12/29 Postscript:] As I prepared to leave Hawaii for the first time since my arrival, I was worried about slipping immediately from tropical balminess to the arctic chill of a reportedly severe New York December, but I was pleased that the few days I spent in San Francisco en route served as a brief autumn. I felt the chill of night air, scuffled through the dead leaves lining the ground of the deciduous forest, and even saw some reddened maples stubbornly retaining their foliage through the solstice. With some semi-humorous misadventures, to be chronicled shortly, I've been very happy so far to be back East. Skiing and meals with family, spending time with old friends -- just being "home" -- has been really nice. I'm excited for the New Year's that I'm going to be spending with dear friends whom I do not see often enough. I feel blessed in this season. By the way, that reggae festival on the North Shore was incredible. It stopped raining the night before, and the sun dried up all of the mud into the perfect dancing surface. It was sunshiney all day, and the spot itself was incredibly beautiful and vivid. I'll relate anecdotes when I get the pictures from a friend.

After losing my voice at the greatest football game I've ever seen (check out the highlights -- unbelievable!) last Saturday, an unbelievable end to an undefeated season for the Warriors (somewhat marred by some excessive force against an exuberant fan who rushed the field one play too early), I've buckled down and been cranking out final papers like it's my job. I basically have to finish up a smaller assignment, take my Japanese final, and I've got one big paper until I'm done with my first semester at UH!



So I took the day off and made some chili for the department chili cook-off tomorrow night... It's funny, I worked really hard on this chili, using four types of hot peppers, a number of roasted ingredients (my homemade stout, dark chocolate, & some espresso), and it basically tastes like I threw a bunch of adobo-soaked chipotle peppers in there. Not that I'm complaining, it's a great taste, but I know for next time: just spend the $2.50 for a can of chipotle peppers. We'll see how it stacks up against the competition...



But, before the cookoff, I'm heading up to Kualoa Ranch, 4000 acres of beautiful land outside of Kaneohe, for a roots reggae fest featuring most of the state's best bands with Ziggy Marley headlining -- here's hoping the sky looks something like this picture, as it's been pouring rain every day this week (with gale-force winds Monday night) due to a weird system parked off what's typically the leeward side of the islands. Well, flash flood warnings notwithstanding, the good news is that Kaneohe is on the "windward" side of the island, away from the storm, so I'm glad meteorology is an inexact science, and here's hoping trade winds kick in before tomorrow morning!

I'm preparing to descend into a work-filled weekend in a push to be done with the East Asian Buddhism seminar whose professor, a polyglot Korean monk (who has academic mastery of 9 or 10 languages, regardless of his ability to express himself grammatically in spoken English). The visiting Venerable Dr. Mun has made my first semester much easier by being completely unprepared for lecture, assigning minimal reading, and largely disregarding the assignments that he gave on the syllabus. But now it is the time of reckoning for my first semester: four papers, two presentations, two exams -- one oral and one written -- and I'll be on the other side, that blissful state beloved to educators and educatees: winter vacation. I get excited thinking about going back to Brooklyn, about Vermont with the family, New Years with old friends.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before I return to the present, where many assignments are pressing (especially as tonight I'm going to my first college football game in ten years, the last game of UH's historic WAC-championship season. I hope it goes better than the last game I attended, Hamilton's 1997 season opener, where the D-III Continentals were mentioned as a note in Sports Illustrated after being shutout by Amherst's Lord Jeffs with a final score of something like 67-0.), I figured I'd take a minute to post about Thanksgiving, perhaps in bullet format:

- I'm thankful that my grandfather bought me a ticket to Arizona, so we could have that whole side of the family present for Thanksgiving.

- I'm thankful for the continued health and success of my my family, especially in light of a scare we had over the weekend.

- I'm thankful for my family's continual support and love (despite my grandfather busting my balls for being under poverty line -- on a similar note, any thoughts on the morality of my potential application for food stamps?).


- I'm thankful for all of the Chanukkah presents.

- I'm thankful that my aunt and uncle are active people so that every Thanksgiving we hike during the day, go for long walks under the desert stars after dinner, and go dancing at night (probably wouldn't get done without them).

- I'm thankful that the UH Warriors, with their definitive win Thanksgiving weekend over their biggest rival (the Boise State Broncos), seem destined for the Sugar Bowl (you have no idea how happy this makes people out here -- it's fun to be along for the ride).

- I'm thankful to the Universal Life Church for providing free ordinations (yes, you can now call me Reverend without irony), so that I can marry two of my closest friends next fall (I welcome any and all suggestions for the theme of the service -- so far the leaders are "Under the Sea" and the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre").

- I'm thankful to be out here, on a beautiful tropical island, with lots of new friends, undergoing research that interests me towards a degree that's challenging and stimulating (as opposed to my joke of a Masters in Education) at an institution with good faculty and resources. Hooray for Interlibrary Services!

- I'm thankful to Andrew of songstowearpantsto.com for thoroughly entertaining me this week with his hilarity. A one man They Might Be Giants who composes by request -- a talented musician who has hit on a goldmine of ridiculous ideas for funny songs.

- I'm thankful to be getting paid to hang out with kids again (as a "tutor" in an after-school program, where I'm even more of a babysitter than I was in Brooklyn). There's something about 12 and 13 year olds that makes me laugh whenever I'm not getting aggravated.

Alright, enough thanks-giving. It's December. Must get the rent check in the mail, stock up on some comestibles, and buckle down for the day. If I can write 8 more pages (already done the research) before the game, I'll be right pleased with myself.

Go Warriors!

Recently, as I've returned to school, its open schedule, indiscriminate workload, and opportunities for socialization with a whole new peer group, I've returned to a life where sleep deprivation is a way of life. I tend to laugh off the cloudiness and substandard cognitive function of my weekdays as "a natural high," despite having read countless studies about the importance of regular amounts of sleep for physical and mental health. I don't usually do the "topical blog," but this last study I read really makes me reconsider living in sleep debt.

Consider this article outlining research published last month in Current Biology: subjects who'd pulled an "all-nighter" had 40-80% more activity in the brain's emotional centers when shown disturbing images than a control group. The researchers drew on other studies of the brain to theorize that this activity effectively shuts down the prefrontal cortex (i.e. logical reasoning) and activates the release of noradrenaline/norepinephrine, a neurotransmitter that triggers "fight or flight" responses and affects mood disorders. These brain patterns are similar to those of clinical depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Obviously future research is needed (for example, if a gradually accumulated sleep debt has the same effect), but the findings of this study have significance for our chronically sleep-deprived populace. I don't have any hard statistics, but I know that many people close to me suffer from what have been categorized as "mood disorders"; if getting more sleep every night will help the brain regulate itself, I feel that sleep therapy needs to be at the center of the mental health profession. Also, I would hope that establishing a connection between sleep deprivation and irrational behavior will help reform the shifts held by hospital staff and military personnel; individuals without adequate sleep may simply be unable to make the life and death decisions required by these professions.

I have trouble "sleeping in" myself, so it makes me wonder how much sleep I really need -- WebMd.com has an interesting self-test to determine whether you actually need eight hours. I might try it out this week -- if I can finish my work before 11.

[Postscript (11/18) -- if you have 15 minutes and are interested in reading more about sleep, "The Sleep-Industrial Complex" in today's International Herald-Tribune is a pretty interesting article (if you can get through all of the mattress talk with which the author begins). It suggests that in pre-industrial societies, most people sleep in two 4 hour shifts, waking up for an hour or two in the middle of the night. I know my folks can relate.]

I don't know why October's a bad month for writing blog entries -- it seems I had the same problem last year. Maybe it's when the initial excitement of the new semester has worn off so that work distracts from personal endeavors. For whatever reason, walking to the bus yesterday morning, I turned a corner and, through the polarized lenses of my sunglasses, the bougainvillea, a monolith in royal fuschia, broke my month-long hiatus from writing. I've been missing the autumn colors of the temporal zone, which is natural, yet strange given the riot of color I'm surrounded by. If azaleas are fiery, these bougainvilleas are the equivalent of gazing into an open kiln. The hibiscus and poinciana next to my stoop are brilliant with their reds, oranges, and yellows. I guess I can deal with missing two years of fall colors.